A Testimony by Charles P. Mawungwa

Introduction

Sometime around 2011, The Holy Spirit gave me a promise of something that he said would take place in three months.

But as the months went by, I did not see the fulfilment of that thing. One day, when I was low, heart broken, and angry, I went into prayer and said, “Holy Spirit you lied to me. You said that this thing would happen at this time and it didn’t”

At the end of that bitter prayer, The Holy Spirit reassured me that every thing he had said would happen in my life  would happen according to his word.

My faith was restored and I said God knows best.

(Side Note: Years later, I discovered that the Lord had fulfilled exactly what he had said at the exact time he had said it, but I had been blinded not to see it at that time.)

Anyways, after that prayer, my trust and faith in the Lord was restored, and about six months later as I was reading the Bible I came across this verse:

Mark 3:28-29 (WEB)

28 Most certainly I tell you, all sins of the descendants of man will be forgiven, including their blasphemies with which they may blaspheme; 

29 but whoever may blaspheme against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is subject to eternal condemnation.”

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As I read this scripture, a thought came into my head and said, “Do you remember that you once called the Holy Spirit a liar. You blasphemed the Holy Spirit. You committed the unforgivable sin”

I immediately said to myself, ” No, I did not blaspheme the Holy Spirit, get thee behind me Satan, you’re a liar”

I closed the Bible and went about my business.

A few weeks later as I was quietly walking in the street meditating on the word of God, that thought came again and said, “Remember you once called the Holy Spirit liar, you blasphemed the Holy Spirit”

I said to myself,” No I did not.” I decided to go home and open the verse again  This time looking at the story from the other gospels.

So I found it in the book of Mathew and it read,

Matthew 12:31-32 (WEB)

31 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. 

32 Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, neither in this age, nor in that which is to come.

As I read this, my heart began to become unsettled. 

That thought said to me as I read, “Do you see that. It says, whoever speaks a word against the Holy Spirit. You said the Holy Spirit had lied. You know that he is the spirit of truth. You know he never lies. But you said he had lied. You insulted the Holy Spirit. You committed the unforgivable sin.”

I was so unsettled that I closed the Bible and said, “No no I did not”

A few days later, I was in prayer, and I began to ask God to bless me and my work. As I was asking God, the thought came back and said,

“You’re wasting your time, God is not even listening to you. You committed the unforgivable sin. You blasphemed the Holy Spirit. How can God bless you”

I didn’t want to believe it, but I couldn’t deny it. I could not even continue praying.

I said, “No.” And ignored the thought 

A few days later again, I am about to go pray, and the thought comes back again. I then thought, I am sure God will forgive me, 

The thought said, “You are already marked for hell. Jesus said, You will never have forgiveness, either in this life or in the age to come. Jesus said, You are subject to eternal condemnation.”

I felt a lot of fear, a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression coming over me. I was at the brink of tears and this single thought, became many thoughts.

They haunted me throughout the day. One thought said, “Did you notice that since you insulted the Holy Spirit, everything in your life has been going down.”

As these thoughts flooded my mind over and over, I became weaker and weaker. I felt like the Bible had become my accuser.

Everytime I would look at the Bible, all I would see was that verse. 

I then decided to go out and take a walk, and just talk to God anyways. The thoughts were now saying, “There is no need for you to continue living your life as if you’re going to heaven. You might as well enjoy life while you’re still on earth, since you’re going to hell anyways. No need to continue trying to please God. You’re under eternal condemnation. “

But something in me just refused to give this.

With tears in my eyes I said, “I don’t care, I don’t care If God is going to send me to eternal fire, I don’t care if he never forgives me.”

I said, “I am going  to live my life for Christ, I am going to live according to his word.

I said, “I am going to serve Christ anyways. Even if I don’t go to heaven, at least others will. And if on judgement day, Jesus still wants to send me to hell, then Let it be so. But even though I Have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, I won’t live a life of sin”

The Intervention

I began to just say to myself, “But why did I ever say that. Why did I do it. Why  why, why”

I was in a lot of pain when suddenly the Holy Spirit spoke.

I say, “He spoke” because that is the only word I have at my disposal.

The Holy Spirit can speak through an inner unction, a small still voice, a strong conviction, a sense of knowing, an audible voice,  a vision,  a dream,  a thought.

These are some of the ways the Holy Spirit speaks. He did not use any of these means.

It’s like his voice spoke though our my whole being. My every cell, my blood, my atoms, my spirit, my heart, my whole being.

He has only ever spoken to me like that Twice. In this instance  and the second time was when a preacher had successfully convinced me that I was not born again, because I had been baptised as a baby.

But that’s a story for another day.

As I was asking myself, Why did I ever say that, 

The Holy Spirit intervened and said, “Even if you had said pfutsek Holy Spirit  you would not have committed the unforgivable sin.”

I stopped walking, He spoke again and said, ” Even if you had said **( Vulgr word) to me, you would not have committed the Holy Spirit.

His voice, came with unspeakable peace, dispersing every worry, every fear, every anxiety and every doubt from my being.

But I was left with one question. If saying those words is not blaspheming the Holy Spirit. If that’s not the unforgivable sin.

Then what is it.

A few days later, The Holy Spirit led me to a book called, “A sin unto death” by Kenneth Hagin.

That book gave me all the scriptural answers I needed, and helped me understand what this sin is.

However, as time went on, I have grown in my own understanding of the subject, and the Holy Spirit has given me more personal teaching from the Bible on the subject.

Never again will Satan use this lie to shake my faith. When you don’t have a good understanding of the scriptures on a subject. Satan can lie and shake your faith in God on that area.